i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
