You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she looked like the before picture.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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