I bet he comes in French.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
