I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
