im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize