the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
