I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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