Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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