Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
