accomplished twins. life is a go
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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