i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
