is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
