At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
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Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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