either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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