Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
