That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
please come you make the beer taste better
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
