i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
