The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
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at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
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I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other