i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
