the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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