So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
