He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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