so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
