I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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