i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
