is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
