either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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