Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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