we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
