it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize