No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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