I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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