I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
