Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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