There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
