we're blogging at a bar
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
