I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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