Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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