Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
