PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
