im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize