i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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