My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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