Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
