Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Cover your peen. We're going out.
false alarm, still single
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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