You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
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Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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