Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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