she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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