I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
