My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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