oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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