Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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