Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
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There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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