and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
