the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
